The Corporate Alignment Matrix

Most personality tools fall into two camps:
The introspective ones (MBTI, Strengthsfinder) - great for self reflection…but never explains why Dolores at work insists on following a broken process just to check off a box, when the entire building is on fire.

And then there’s the real world, where politics, incentives, risk tolerance, and survival instincts shape behaviour far more than your “INFJ core strengths.”

Introducing the Corporate Alignment Matrix, a 3x3 matrix that takes inspiration from the grand tradition of classic table-top RPG games, mapping individuals across two key dimensions:

Lawful ↔ Chaotic (Rule-Following vs Rule-Bending)
Good ↔ Evil (Team Impact vs Self-Interest)

Unlike MBTI or Strengthsfinder, this isn’t a self-assessment.
It’s an outside-in diagnostic, the tool your coworkers unconsciously use on you.

Because at work, you’re not just a personality type. You’re a character people have to navigate. You already know some of these archetypes:

Lawful Neutral - The Bureaucrat
The human embodiment of a PDF form - not malicious, just deeply devoted to the Process God. Their true superpower? Alchemising a simple 5-minute decision into a 2-hour meeting with 10 action items, three follow-ups, and a new shared folder no one asked for.

Lawful Evil - The Corporate Climber
The master of “strategic accidents.” Effortlessly reframes personal agendas as company priorities, CCs leadership on everything, and somehow takes credit and avoids blame at the same time.

Neutral Good - The Fixer
The quiet hero of the organisation. They don’t care about credit, politics, or whose slide template is “the latest.” When something needs solving yesterday, they make things happen today. They're everyone’s favourite emergency contact.

We all work with these people. Some make work feel effortless. Others require deep breathing, mindful restraint, and the occasional internal monologue of profanity.

And that’s the point. This matrix helps you quickly spot:
Who accelerates your work and who quietly blocks its
Who needs structure and who needs autonomy
Who you should avoid, escalate or handle with protective gloves

Coming next:
A full set of character sheets for every alignment - complete with abilities, weaknesses, signature behaviours, red flags, and “how to work with them without sacrificing your sanity.”

Think of it as an irreverent but actually useful map of the corporate jungle, one that doesn’t pretend everyone is collaborative, aligned, or even remotely self-aware.